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Happy for No Reason: Cultivating Empathy

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As a teacher and a teacher-trainer, I'm always reminded of something my father said when I told him I wanted to teach. "That's a tough job," he said.  "I mean, how do you teach someone to take a hint?"

"Awareness training" means paying attention to how we pay attention.  For many, that's how we can train the mind.  Concentration leads to calming.  Calming leads to tranquility, and that's the bi-product of meditative practices.

But another aspect of awareness training is paying attention to the realm of the heart and compassion.  It's the other half of mindfulness.

How do we train ourselves to pay attention to the heart of another?

I often use the phrase, "I imagine you are feeling ..."  As taught in Non-Violent Communication, it doesn't matter if you are wrong.

When I'm at the grocery store I'll sometimes try it there ...  At the end of a day I might say, "I imagine you're tired and ready to go home for the evening."   When I listen to another, I'll take a moment to say what I imagine my partner is feeling and say, "I imagine you're feeling ..."   No one has ever been offended.  On the contrary, there is a softening.  Sometimes a flash of appreciation that I've taken a moment to imagine their world.

In the Meditation Teacher Training Institute we have about 60 meditation teachers all exploring how to cultivate awareness of mind and heart.

This video of a master teacher gives us an example of what it means to serve the awakening of awareness.

A Teacher in Tokyo from J Z on Vimeo.

 

(Thanks, Silvia.)

Happy For No Reason: Call Me ... Maybe

Caught this on Slate and have enjoyed playing it for a few people. If you're not familiar with chatrourette, it's a website that randomizes site-to-site connections.   From what I understand, it's populated with weirdness, but SteveKardynal got the idea of lip syncing "Call Me Maybe" in a wig and bikini and putting together a short video of peoples'  reactions.

I love the random reactions, with 80% of them being spontaneously positive and joyful.  Those that aren't are still entertaining.

It's a little over the top, but it's one angle on the practice of 'being happy for no reason.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCiY1y3uJ3o

Here's the Slate article.

 

August 25th: Increasing Your Capacity for Joy Retreat

 

I read somewhere that we spend most of our energy suppressing bliss.  I'm not sure that's true, but it does bring up the question as to the nature of our true nature.  Are we sinners at the core or is it true that our fundamental essence is, as yoga says, "Satchitananda." or "Truth + Knowledge + Bliss?"  (Or the bliss that arises in recognizing what is true.)

Saturday, August 25th I'll be leading a daylong retreat (9:30 - 3:30) in Fredericksburg, VA called Increasing Your Capacity for Joy.

We'll explore this questions not just intellectually, but through engaging into practice.

A few decades ago we designed a weeklong retreat called "The Joy of Artful Living."  It was crammed with movement, dance, meditation, writing and art.  We anticipated lively, 'go for it' participants for the week.  In retrospect, it wasn't a shock that who showed up were folks who felt anything but joy in their lives and desperately wanted to tap in to the juice.

When we focus on joy, inevitably we experience, in great detail, that which is between us and that state.

That's where meditation and inquiry come in.  Once we really see the patterns that create that sense of separation, new possibilities emerge.

It's a bit of a haul from DC, but a beautiful area.  Click here for more information and to register.

 

 

 

 

August 11th: Conscious Relationships Retreat

 

Thanks to the wonders of technology, I always remember our wedding anniversary and must confess that I always make a point to mention it before Tara realizes it's coming.

Our wedding was on the hottest day of the year that summer.   In the midst of the summer heat and the reminder of bringing attention and compassion to our relationships, it's always nice to reinforce our commitment by co-leading a daylong retreat on Conscious Relationships.

It's this Saturday, the 11th.  This is for couples and singles.

 

Master Your Inner Caveman

Stressed about money and stressed in general?  Barbara Hynak, meditation practitioner, author and lawyer who attends the Arlington class, has come out with a book that explores how to calm the anxious 'self' and open to new possibilities.

"Providing a fresh view of how humans deal with money in the 21st century, Beyond Your Fears: 5 Steps to Master Your Inner Caveman and Achieve Your True Potential gives you the new and necessary tools to handle your fears around money and its effect on your life."

You can download an electronic version on Amazon here or check out the home page here.

 

Congrats, Barb!

 

If a Tree Falls on a House

A few years ago, while I was walking the California hills barefoot on a silent month-long retreat, Tara was snowed in for eight days, melting snow over the fireplace.  As I was in silence, I had no idea until later. This last week, I did know that DC got whacked in intense winds, shutting down power to over a million people.  Tara was without power for almost a week and contending with some pretty massive damage.

Thanks for a wonderful adjuster and some great contractor friends, we are digging out and starting reconstruction.

My current life theme this year has been, "Whole-hearted cooperation with reality."

It's come in handy.

 

Fortunately, everyone was awake and in a relatively safe place when this came down.  It crushed the lower room, the guest room and took out part of the roof in my office

 

 

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Hiking, with Soundtrack

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Kripalu Center is in the heart of the Berkshires, situated on a lake and with property adjoining Tanglewood the summer home of the Boston Symphony.

One of the highlights of this last retreat was doing a silent hike down through Gould Meadows, along the Stockbridge Bowl and then up to Tanglewood during a James Taylor concert.

As we turned from the lake up the long hill to Tanglewood, James Taylor broke into "Sweet Baby James."  At that point a few folks broke silence to sing along.

Late evening, sun setting, birds chasing bugs in the meadow, bunnies at play, a group of meditating hikers breaking into song.

One of Those Moments.

 

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Water Break

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I'm up in New England, leading two back-to-back retreats. I missed all the wild storms in Virginia and some pretty extensive damage to our house. Here in the land of sunshine and flowing electricity, In between retreats I managed to catch a quick kayak adventure in the Stockbridge bowl.

Tonight in this five day retreat, The Still Small Voice Within, I will be leading a silent hike down through the meadow and the woods by the lake and cycling back by Tanglewood. James Taylor plays three nights over the 4th of July and last year they opened the gates halfway through the concert.

We'll see if they do the same tonight.

If not, it's a good thing we are practicing equanimity.